5 Ways To Prepare For a First Date

Posted on November 5th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

When you have a first date on the horizon, you might think that the important stuff doesn’t start until you and your date are face to face. Not so fast!  With a bit of forethought and effort in advance, you can almost guarantee that your first date won’t be the last. Here is how to set the tone for the evening by preparing for a first date in advance.

1. Do your research. Take a quick look at your date’s online dating profile and mentally jot down possible topics of conversation or things that you have in common. Since it will be fresh on your mind, it will prevent those dreadful awkward silences all first daters fear. You will always have something to talk about or a question to ask.

2. Give yourself a once over in the mirror. Are you wearing an outfit that makes you look good, but most importantly makes you feel confident? If you wear something uncomfortable, you’ll look uncomfortable, not matter how great it looked on the hanger. You don’t need to get dressed to the nines for a first date. A fresh haircut, a spray of perfume and a smile go a long way!

3. Let someone know where you are going and who you are going with. With a first online date, chances are you don’t know too much about the other person. Regardless, it’s important to share as much information as possible with someone you trust-you can never be too safe. Let a friend or family member know where you will be-restaurant name, etc-and the name of your date. Tell them to expect a call, email or text when you arrive home, letting them know you are safe and sound. Yes, you are a fully capable adult and no, you don’t need a babysitter-don’t worry, you’ll only have to do this for the first few dates!

4. Get money. We won’t get into the who should pay on a first date debate here. It’s never safe to assume that your date will be picking up the check, so ladies always make sure to have extra cash in your handbag. Guys, if you do intend on paying for the date, check and see that you have your credit card or cash safely in your wallet. Doing dishes to cover the bill isn’t usually a great ending to a first date.

5. Take a deep breath. Feeling nervous before a first date is normal, but you don’t want to let your nerves get the best of you. Breathe in, breathe out. Remember that this is one night in a life of many, and even if it doesn’t work out, you can chalk it up to experience. Even better, consider it practice for your next first date.

How To Gracefully Reject Someone Online

Posted on November 1st, 2012 by Amy Estes

Sometimes, we meet someone who seems wonderful at first, but then the connection and attraction fades, or things are not what they seem. Often times, the other person may feel differently and still feels interested in seeing where the relationship can go.

No one likes to hear that someone isn’t interested in them. Being on the other side and having to tell someone you’re not interested might be even more difficult. Letting someone down easy can be difficult, but it can be done! There’s no need to hurt someone’s feelings when you end a flirtation or relationship online. Here are a few ways to let someone down easy without hurting their feelings and being cruel.

Here are our best tips:

Do it early! It can be tempting to continue a flirtation or communication in order to not hurt someone, or just to be polite. But if you know you’re not interested, do everyone a favor and cut off the conversation before things continue.

Be direct. You can be up front! It’s much better than beating around the bush. Simply tell the person that you have enjoyed getting to know them, but you don’t think it’s the right fit for you. If it was simply a few emails, there’s no need to elaborate. Simply tell them you’ve appreciated their time and effort, and wish them well.

If you’ve met in person, do it in person. Meet for coffee or a glass of wine, and keep it short and sweet. Thank them for coming, explain that you’ve enjoyed getting to know them but that it’s not going to work out right now. No need to explain further (as long as the relationship hasn’t gotten too serious!) and then be on your way. If that idea sounds impossible, but you’ve spent time together, you should at least make a phone call.

Don’t let them on by continuing conversation. After a decision to stop talking online, don’t make a mistake of thinking that you’re helping things by continuing to converse or email. Just cut off the communication.

Cutting off communication is the natural part of the dating process! And don’t worry: there are plenty of fish in the sea! There is no reason to settle for someone who isn’t a great fit. Keep at it. You’ll find the right person. And by putting yourself out there online, you’re already on the right track.

4 Tips For a Successful First Online Date

Posted on October 29th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

After you’ve talked to someone you’re interested in online, it’s time for you to meet face to face. The first date is your opportunity to connect in real life and see if you’d like to continue getting to know one another. It’s an important step, but don’t let the pressure get you down. Here are 4 tips for a successful first online date.

1. Don’t share too much. Talking too much about personal issues or baggage can scare off a date. First date conversation should be easy, light and fun. You don’t need to reveal all your cards right away, or share your life story. If you do end up entering into a long-term relationship you will have plenty of time to dig into the deep stuff. Remember that no matter how long you’ve been speaking online, the person across from you is still a stranger, so share your personal information accordingly.

2. Engage in conversation. While some topics are off limits, most aren’t. Awkward silences are one first date issue that can be easily avoided. Ask your date questions about their life, hobbies and interests. If you find yourself doing most of the talking, do your best to draw them out of their shell. Conversely, if you have been holding back, open up and share something about yourself that might get the conversation ball rolling.

3. Remain positive. It can be easy to fall into a habit of focusing in on the negative things in life, and discussing them on a date. Are you having a hard time online dating and meeting good men? Or did the last woman you meet break your heart? Maybe your are afraid you will never meet a man as wonderful as your late husband? Dating and love are hard, but the person sitting across from you does not want to hear about your past love troubles. If you’re on a first date with someone new, consider this your love clean slate!

4. Keep an open mind. Just the fact that you’re out on a first date says a lot about how brave you are when it comes to finding your soul-mate. First online dates are essentially just blind dates-you never know who is really going to show up. Manage your expectations from the start and give your date a fighting chance even if things feel uncomfortable for a bit. Who knows, maybe they are nervous too!

How was your last first date?

 

23 Ways to Know You’re Ready for a Serious Relationship

Posted on October 26th, 2012 by Jamie Ann

Gladness, happy, seniors

Your relationship with yourself sets the bar for all relationships in your life. Whether it is friends, family or love, how you respond to each is dependent on how you feel about yourself. If you’re not loving yourself, you’re probably not ready for someone else to love you. Once you reach that stage in life you’re probably ready and open to finding someone to share your life with and really have a serious relationship with them.
The dating game is over and it’s gotten a bit old. You want to enjoy life with someone special by your side. But how do you know if you’re truly ready for that serious relationship?
Here are some ideas to get you thinking about it:
  1. You don’t feel the need to actively look love.
  2. You wonder if they would make a good husband or wife.
  3. You’re turn a little green with envy when you hear how happy someone else is with their significant other.
  4. You realized that just going on dates is making you lonely.
  5. You’re okay with taking things slow.
  6. You don’t flinch when you hear the words “soul mate.”
  7. You’re looking for a different kind of person that you were when you were dating for fun.
  8. You wait longer to sleep with someone you’re dating.
  9. You really, really want them to meet your friends.
  10. You really, really want your friends to LIKE them.
  11. You start thinking in the terms of “we” instead of “I”.
  12. You’re truly comfortable with yourself how you are.
  13. You’re welcome the word “commitment.”
  14. You think about if they would make a good parent.
  15. You’re more concerned in their values, goals and interests than how hot they are.
  16. You’re not into settling for conditional love.
  17. You’re ready to share your life with someone else.
  18. You’re ready to share THEIR life.
  19. You’re not ever thinking about “the one that got away” anymore.
  20. You realize that this isn’t just about the ticking clock.
  21. You’re not concerned with dealbreakers.
  22. You’ve come to realize a relationship is a WANT not a NEED.
  23. You’ve thrown your “list” out.

Did any of those hit home? Obviously this list isn’t a one size fits all kind of thing. Everyone is different, so you’ll know you’re ready  when you know. These hopefully just get you thinking about where you are in your life. Maybe you’re not ready for a serious relationship and that’s perfectly okay. Everyone moves at their own pace, so keep that in mind.

For those in a relationship – how did you know you were ready for a serious relationship?

 

5 Pieces Of Dating Advice You Should Ignore

Posted on October 24th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

These days everyone is a dating expert! Your friends, your family and strangers on the internet are full of advice about what you should do when it comes to dating. So instead of telling you what you should do, we’re here to tell you what you shouldn’t do…starting with paying attention to any dating advice that sounds like the following five things!

1. Women should never initiate contact.  This bit of dating advice is old fashioned and out dated. When a woman expresses interest in a guy, chances are he’ll feel one way and one way only=relieved! Men feel a lot of pressure to be the ones who always have to ask a woman out or make the first move. When a woman takes the first step, it shows that she isn’t playing games. Which brings me to…

2. Playing hard to get is played out. Old school dating advice says that if you are interested in someone, you should act like you aren’t…does this make sense to you? Me neither. You don’t need to be aggressive or throw yourself at a potential date, but expecting to be chased and pursued simply doesn’t work anymore because soon, the other person will get tired of the chase. A more modern approach? Subtly let them know that what they are doing is working…and then put as much effort into the dating relationship as they are-if not more!

3. Be yourself. When dating, it’s always best to be yourself, right? Well, sorta. We all have aspects of our personalities that are best kept hidden, at least on the first date. This also means that you don’t need to share everything with a date-any past relationship baggage, poor decisions or private stories. Keeping things under wraps will not only add to your mystery, but will prevent you from scaring someone away in the early stages of a relationship.

4. Don’t rush into love. Friends and family who mean well might caution you when you share that you’ve fallen in love…on the second date. They might tell you to take things slow and not rush into love. While being smart with your heart is never a bad thing, make no mistake about it…you absolutely can fall in love at first site. Would it be wise to run out and get married to someone you’ve known for 4 hours? Probably not…but it’s certainly ok to feel like you want to! Love doesn’t play by the rules, so why should you?

5. Don’t say you’re into Football…if you’re not. This is just an example, of course. Standard dating advice says that if you are trying to get a man’s attention that you should adopt his interests and hobbies as your own. While it’s great to show interest in the things that your partner loves, pretending to be interested in things that you aren’t is a recipe for disaster. Not only will your date be potentially disappointed when he discovers that you aren’t really into horticulture after all, but you run the risk of losing your own identity-the one that attracted him to you in the first place!

What dating advice have you heard recently?

 

4 Things To Never Forget About Love

Posted on October 22nd, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

Dating isn’t always flowers, candy and romance. As you navigate the often times confusing waters of mature online dating, you might find yourself forgetting why you signed up for this crazy ride in the first place. Here are five things to always remember about love.

1. You get what you give. So many of us want love but we forget the most important thing-to get love, you have to give love. This rule applies to everything. If you want to fall in love with a positive, loving, kind person the best way to do that is to be positive, loving and kind in your own right.

2. Love takes time. We all want to wake up one day to an email from the man of our dreams, but it doesn’t always work that way. You might find yourself feeling like you’ve been dating “forever” and it’s at this point that people usually find themselves feeling frustrated and wanting to give up. But walking away from dating all together doesn’t do you any good in the long haul. Stay the course and eventually you’ll find a person who was worth waiting for.

3. It doesn’t always make sense or play by the rules. You might come across the profile of a person who, on paper, is PERFECT for you. You have so many things in common with them and they are physically attractive. Your interactions online are full of laughter and anticipation…you can’t wait to meet them in person and get a relationship started. But when you do meet them, there is no chemistry or spark, or you just can’t quite put your finger on what is missing. Love doesn’t make sense, does it?

4. Love will surprise you! Making sense is boring! If it was that easy to determine who you would fall in love with, there would be no romance, mystery or excitement. When you least expect it, you’ll fall head over heels for someone no matter how perfect (or wrong!) for you they seem on paper or in their profile. Leave your heart and mind open to the possibility of being swept off your feet at any moment.

4 Things Mature Men Are Really Looking For

Posted on October 19th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie


Men in their 50′s appreciate qualities in a woman that guys in their 20′s simply don’t. When looking for a woman to date, older men are concerned with more than just physical appearance. Here are four things that mature men are really looking for in a woman.

1. Confidence. A woman in her 40′s or 50′s should know exactly who she is. Meaning, she has been through both good times and bad times in her life and she’s learned that she can hold her head high through anything. She is able to acknowledge both her strengths and her flaws, and genuinely likes the woman she has become. Men find this so irresistible because in their mind, nothing is sexier than a woman who can stand on her own too feet and has many a story to tell. Men don’t want to feel like the woman they are dating needs them to save her-they want someone who can take care of herself and chooses to be with them.

2. Vulnerability. In your 20′s or 30′s, it’s all about playing the dating game and never showing your cards. The goal is to always have the upper hand. As you get older and wiser though, you stop wasting your time playing around. You’re so full of confidence that you feel secure opening up and sharing your feelings, putting yourself out there first without a guarantee that you’ll receive anything in return. There is a certain softness that comes along with being vulnerable, one that tends to turn most men into mush!

3. Family values. Most mature daters have realized that one of the only constants in life is family. Men, surprisingly, especially crave a strong family bond and are attracted to a woman who fiercely loves the people in her life. At this stage of your life, it’s no longer about pushing people away and taking them for granted…it’s all about pulling them in closer and appreciating the people you love. What man wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

4. Positive attitude. This one goes for all men, no matter how old they are. Men look for women who are positive and upbeat. No, this doesn’t mean that you need to fake a Suzy Sunshine attitude or take on a Stepford wife persona. It just means that you make it your mission to enjoy your life. Most people, male or female and young or old, want to spend their time with others who are fun to be around. Dating isn’t any different…if a man has a great time with you, he’s going to want to come back for more. ASAP!

Guys, what do you look for in a woman?

4 Things To Do When You’re Torn Between Two Men

Posted on October 17th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

When you think of entering the dating scene at this stage in your life, you might be wondering if you’ll even meet one man who catches your interest. What you might find out is that you don’t just find one great guy…you find two! Many mature daters report a surprising twist-that they have fallen in love with more than one guy. So what do you do when your heart is being pulled in two directions? Here are our tips on what to do when you’re in love with more than one man.

1. Take your sweet time. Nowhere does it say that you have to decide right away which man you want to be with. Have fun! Enjoy this time getting to know each guy and seeing how well you fit into each other’s lives. The key is being honest with both men about your relationship status, and that yes, you are dating other people. As both relationships progress, it will become evident which man is the one for you in the long run.

2. Don’t lead them on. Feeling wanted and sought after by not just one but TWO eligible bachelors is a great feeling, and you might not want to let that go. It can be addicting to be such a hot commodity! But when you do feel in your heart that one, or both, men aren’t right for you, you are going to have to cut the cord. If you don’t, you run the risk of losing them both, because they feel used and like you are playing a game with their hearts.

3. Make a list. Writing down a list on paper of the pros and cons of each man can be a great way to determine which guy is the one for you. It’s easy to get swept up in the emotions and romance of it all and be blinded to the hard facts. Sit down and make a list of the things you adore about each guy, and the things that you dislike. While our hearts don’t always make the logical decision, this exercise will at least guide you to making the smartest decision.

4. Take them for a test drive. If you’re hoping to be in a long term relationship with one of these men, it’s crucial to see how they fit into your day to day life. Introduce them to your closest friends and family and ask for feedback. Do they like him? Do they see the two of you being together for the long haul? Ultimately, you are the one who must decide who you want to be with, but input from your most trusted and most importantly, objective  inner circle will help you determine which man fits into your life as a whole.

Have you ever been in love with more than one man? How did you handle it?

5 Tips For Dating a Younger Man

Posted on October 15th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

Mature women often think that in order to be attractive to men, they have to do everything in their power to appear younger than they are.  But lately, many guys aren’t interested in dating younger women or even women their own age…nope, they want to date an older woman! If you’re over 50, this means that men as young as 20 might be asking for your phone number sooner rather than later. Here are 5 tips on how to have a successful relationship with a younger man.

1. Embrace the age gap, don’t fight it! One of the best parts about dating someone who is a different age is that you both have extremely different experiences and views on the world to bring to the relationship. Don’t expect him to understand where you are coming from at all times, and avoid getting frustrated when you feel like he’s speaking another language. When these things happen, chalk it up to an opportunity to learn about each other and bring you closer, instead of allowing it to drive you apart.

2. Maintain your mystery. One of the things that younger men find so hot in an older woman is the air of mystery she naturally carries herself with. Well, they think it’s mystery-when in reality it’s simply confidence, experience and security all mixed up in one alluring package. Younger men might find you intimidating because of this-let them be!

3. Teach as much as you learn. When you’re dating a younger man, you’ll find yourself holding much of the control in the relationship. Most likely, he will look to you to set the tone of the relationship and will go leaps and bounds to make sure that you are happy-emotionally, mentally and of course, physically. While you’ll be a teacher position of sorts, it’s important to learn from your guy as well.  Be open to new ideas and make sure his needs and wants are held in the same high regard as yours are.

4. Keep an open dialogue. At the beginning of a relationship with a guy half your age, talk of the future should be kept off the table. As you get closer and feelings begin to develop though, make sure you’re communicating well and often. Is he hoping to get married and start a family of his own soon? Things like this don’t necessarily have to be deal breakers, but getting them out in the open will prevent future heartbreak or unnecessary drama. Be clear and honest about what you can offer him, and pay attention when he tells you the same.

5. Take risks. Maybe this isn’t the type of relationship you thought you would have at fifty. Perhaps you always envisioned yourself sitting on a rocking chair next to the man you’d been with the past 30 years…not dating 20 year old man. Life is a constant surprise, so if you find yourself feeling a bit unsure about this new stage and relationship, don’t panic…and don’t give in. One of the greatest things about dating a younger guy is that he will in many, many ways keep you young-especially at heart! If the relationship feels good and fits right, if you are having a good time and are smiling more often than not, go with it. Don’t fight it. Soak up every second of the new life you’ve created for yourself.

Have you ever dated a younger man or woman?

4 Online Dating Red Flags

Posted on October 11th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

When you’re online dating, you’re bound to be a bit overwhelmed by all the people you initially meet.  It can be difficult to determine if each person will be a good match for you but what about ways to tell that they definitely aren’t someone you would want to date?  Those are a bit easier to find! Here are a few common online dating red flags that you should watch out for and avoid at all costs.

They are negative in their profile. Anyone who publicly talks poorly of their ex, or mentions the last bad date they went on might think they are being funny, but dating these kind of people is a risk.  Not only is negativity draining, but what if you end up on their bad side-are they going to air your dirty laundry on the internet? Don’t wait around to find out.

Their photos are inconsistent. We all post photos from different times in our lives. Maybe you used to have brown hair and now it’s blonde. Things like that are understandable inconsistencies, but if someone has photos that look absolutely nothing alike, are of inanimate objects (a car, their dog) or are blurry or it’s hard to tell what they really look like it’s best to keep your guard up.  Some people say that they are uncomfortable with posting their photographs on a dating site, but if you feel like someone is hiding something, they probably are.

They are secretive. There is no online dating rule that states you must reveal a lot of personal information in your profile, but when you begin emailing back and forth with someone you’re interested in it’s likely you’ll begin sharing some of your personal history with them. Things like what you do for a living, what your family is like and what you are looking for in a partner or relationship are normal things to discuss with someone you hope to date-you’re trying to get to know each other! But if the person you’re talking to is doing all of the asking and none of the answering, it begs the question…why?

They constantly cancel plans. The whole point of online dating is to get offline and meet someone wonderful in real life! If you’ve been talking to a potential date online for weeks and months, and every-time you make plans to meet in person they cancel on you, your alarm bells should be ringing! Sure, things come up and life gets in the way, but if they can’t commit to one date, how are they going to commit to a relationship?  This kind of behavior strings you along and prevents you from investing in people who will make the time to go on a date with you in the real world!

What are your top online dating red flags?